The problem with words…

I have been sitting here for months trying to figure out exactly why I don’t want to put my thoughts, that are dying to come out, on paper.

I used to blog easily and freely with a healthy sense of fear, but with confidence that the words would touch at least one person, even if that person was me.

Now, I struggle. I didn’t used to have to compete with so many words on social media.

With unresearched opinions and people just writing because they think putting something on social media somehow makes them a hero for a cause, I pause to put something I actually find to be real out there.

I’m sure I am not the only one.

The problem with words is that they can say anything you want them to, whether you believe it or not. But the other problem with words is that is shows more of your heart and mind than you would like it to, even without realizing it.

I think my struggle has been that I don’t think this new world deserves my vulnerability. Something that I have struggled to let loose forever. It’s a very precious and fragile commodity in my life and I feel like putting it out into this world knowingly puts a rare glass ornament into a room full of toddlers, or cats. There is no way it’s going to come back unbroken.

And I think this is the thing people don’t realize, your written word somehow defines who you are in all circumstances. When you write something years ago and it comes back to haunt you, or you write something in a passion and didn’t mean to put it there it somehow, whether it does or not, tells people more about you than you would like.

Thank you words.

So, I had a very great intention to write more, but found my words safely tucked into a Google doc, because I didn’t want to feed the frenzy, when at this point in time and culture words don’t really matter. They don’t hold the same weight and currency of vulnerability than we once thought them to be.

And this is where my life right now comes in.

Jesus has been teaching me about culture. That the cultures around me can change if I am willing to be the culture. I can’t just complain about what I want it to be and not do it myself. There has to be a level of accountability with myself and my desires.

So I was convicted that I need to start with words.

It will take some time, and courage, on my part to put what I want out there, but I feel like there needs to be a change in how people are speaking and presenting their written words.

Feel free to join the “cause,” but it’s not about anyone else. It’s about how it impacts me before it’s about how it touches anyone else.

So the biggest problem with words is figuring out what it is indeed you need to say.

We shall see.